Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Sometimes in life we are put in very unpleasant situations. Sometimes these are in dealing with members of our own families, as with everything in life there are lessons to be learned.

It seems that when we are faced with extreme negativity the universe is forcing us to look at some aspect of ourselves that needs immediate attention. It is as if the universe is screaming at us.

People say hurtful things to one another, try to avoid the temptation to snap back when this happens. Remember that anger is a very powerful emotion with very powerful energy associated with it, try to use it in a more positive way.

Look at your own life and how you are living it, if you know that it is for good, then does it really matter what others say about you. Live your life with service to others as your focus, and try not to worry to much about those who do not understand why you make the decisions that you make.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


I have been having many ups and downs lately. Life has really been a roller coaster ride. I am human, therefore I do experience a variety of emotions. I have noticed that now I can return to peace much faster than I used to. I may have my weak moments but I do realize that it is happening and after allowing myself to have the feelings and then let them pass I can return to a place of stillness.

People keep talking about strength, and the strength it takes to go through these things that I am going through.  I do not see it as strength, because what choice do I have but to figure out some way to deal with it. Don't we all have things to deal with? Regardless of what it may be at the time we are experiencing it we have no choice but to experience it. The choice that we do have is how to experience it. We can choose to experience it with self pity or we can choose to experience it as an opportunity for expansion and growth. Sometimes we have a little of both, after all we are human, and this is a learning experience. That is the way I have chosen to look at the experiences that I have had today. Today I had moments of both. It seems that most days I choose expansion and growth but today I needed to experience both sides of what it means to be human.

As I was having my experience today I really connected with an old friend and through much conversation I remembered why I am here in this universe. Our conversation started with me talking about the goings on of my day but the more we talked and the more I let go I began talking more about her strengths as well as the strengths of others, pointing out the positive. As I did this all of my frustration began to melt away.

We are surrounded by good, sometimes it is hard to see but it is there. Everything is a choice, at least there is a choice in how we choose to perceive things. Life is hard, but it is also wonderful. We must find balance. This sounds simple but, it is so hard. No one can be a wonderful positive person all of the time, if they seem that way then it seems to me that they are fearful of showing the truth. I am most comforted when I see those that I think are so strong and so spiritual also have a human side. That is when I know that I am not alone on this journey, yes I am a strong person, I am usually the one holding others together but sometimes I need others as well, we all need others. This is a very important lesson to learn, for me it was a hard one.

Allow yourself to be open to all experiences the good and the bad. Allow yourself to have moments of strength as well as moments of weakness. You must allow yourself to have both in order to achieve balance.

Take time to tell others how you feel, life is too short to not be real.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Love and Compassion

Take a moment and reflect on your life.

Focus on the highs as well as the lows.

Focus on the people that have come into your life, think about what was going on in your life when they arrived.

If they are no longer present in your life, was there any issue that was resolved while they were a part of it, a weight that may have felt to have been lifted by the time they had moved on.

Everyone that we come in contact with is an opportunity for expansion. This applies to those that have a positive effect as well as those whose impact may not seem so positive. Many times the greatest growth takes place during moments of struggle.

Now focus on any major events that come to mind.

How did they impact your life?

Much like the people that come and go in our life events mold and shape us as well. The events that were joyous and the events that brought us to tears, they are there for us to grow from.

Our own thoughts may be the most powerful of them all. The way we perceive the world around us is very powerful. Our thoughts impact our lives as well as the lives of those around us. Even if we do not act upon those thoughts, once it is in our mind we have put that energy out there. Once the thought is there we cannot take it back.

Approach life knowing that you have a powerful impact on everyone and everything around you. Try and act out of love and compassion. However, we are human and we will make mistakes, we will have thoughts that may not be full of love and compassion, and that is fine. These times are opportunities to learn and expand as well.

Reflect on it, learn from it, and continue on with love and compassion.


It has been so long since I wrote anything. My mom just had surgery not to long ago and no sooner does she get home that she falls again and breaks her arm. I have spent the past two days at the hospital. She had surgery this morning.

The past two days at the hospital she looked so sad. There were many tears shed, and event though this is the fourth surgery of this kind she said that this one was the worst. This was such an awful thing to have to watch. The doctor said that the cancer is literally eating her bones, they are simply crumbling. Since having two surgeries back to back she has missed much of her chemo, which means that the cancer is growing even faster now.

I am normally a very strong person, and I am not looking for pity, but I feel as though I am falling apart. Three different family members in hospitals, family battles over assisted living, financial woes, etc. I am finding it difficult to remember to breathe let alone try to deal with all of this.

I have always listened to my intuition, but I really do not want to hear what it is telling me now.

I am trying to focus on acceptance, but that is so much easier said than done.

Monday, November 23, 2009


I had a very drama filled somewhat stressful weekend. At times it brought me to tears, literally.
Now that I have had time to reflect on it and try to find the life lessons that were forcing themselves to be shown to me, one thing seems to be screaming out to me. Now is the time to let go of things that are dragging me down and embrace the things that are lifting me up. This includes people and things even if in the past I have felt an attachment towards these particular things or people.

The main situation that occurred yesterday made me question many things. It made me think that all of my time and effort spent with meditation had all been flushed down the toilet. However, now I realize that quite the opposite is true, all that time and effort spent with meditation is exactly what helped me to get through everything. If it would not have been for the overall sense of peace and tranquility that I have been experiencing the situation would have been much worse. No matter how much I was being attacked I was able to remain calm and focused and not lose my cool.

I am ready to embrace whatever the universe has in store for me, it is full of infinite possibilities.

Friday, November 20, 2009


It seems that so many out there are going through such difficult times. For some it is becoming more difficult to see the good and positive.

I have found that I spend more time now trying to help others see the good things in life. There will always be struggles, it is part of human existence. It is what we do with those struggles that really shape us and those around us.

The emotions and energies that surround struggle are powerful. If they are focused towards something positive they can work miracles. I find that it is helpful to take a moment and breathe, reflect on the situation and you will know where the energy would be best focused.

Take time every day and spend quality time with your children or your loved ones. Be there for those that may need you. The more you try and be positive for others the easier it will be for you to see the good in your own life.

Trust your intuition. First, you must acknowledge that it is there. Listen to your heart it will not lead you astray. Each day as you wake take a minute and fill your being with love for all and it will be a good day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sensitive Flowers

I found out yesterday that my 6 year old child has a boyfriend. She said that he was her boyfriend only he did not know it. After a little chuckle I asked her why did she think he was her boyfriend, she said because she did not like it when he was sick. He was not feeling well at school that day and she said she did not like it and she wanted him to feel better. Even though at first I was a bit shocked at her talk of a boyfriend after hearing her explain it, I could not help but think is was a very sweet gesture.

This is the same child that has been going through some difficult transitions lately so I was glad to see her seem happy about something. Anyone who thinks that young children do not understand 'adult' situations is very wrong. They understand way more than we give them credit for most of the time. My 4 year old senses all sorts of things no matter how we try to not let our feelings show.

We must take the time to really listen to our children as well as take the time to talk to them about anything that they would like to share with us. The world around them is a complicated place and is difficult for me to understand so I can only imagine how hard it must be on the children. They absorb everything around them and they need to have a way to get it all out. As they get older you must be careful not to seem to judgmental, at least in my experience with my teen. If they feel that you are going to judge them they are not going to speak.

I was not planning on posting anything about children, but I sat down to start typing and it just happened. I do want to say that I am not trying to tell anyone how to parent their children as each child and each family is different. Just listen to your children as well as to yourself, your heart will always lead you in the right direction.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Today was a day that I felt quite alone. I know that I am not alone, I know that there are many people there for me, but still I felt alone.

At first I looked upon this with  depressing attitude. After further reflection I realized that sometimes we need to feel this aloneness. Once we move past the sadness we can see things for what they really are, we begin to see all the people that we do have in our lives. We may even realize that there are some there that we did not realize.

I spent most of the day with a very sad outlook, but then it dawned on me...my life is still pretty good.
Sure thre are difficulties...
husband ALWAYS working just to make ends meet
beautiful children to take care of (both blessing and at times cause of some stress)
teenage son (oh so many worries there, but also a blessing)
very ill parents
friends going through rough times
and many more

but, so much to be thankful for...
beautiful girls
wonderful son
hard working and loving husband
friends who I know deep down are always there for me
parents who even though we have had and still have some difficulties do not judge too much
parents who have always been there for me even when I did not make the choices they had originally
              wanted for me
a roof over my head
clean water to drink
food on the table
and soooo much more...

Life is pretty good even when it seems it is at its worst. There is much room for improvement, but we have to work with what we have, and right now this is my life.

We have to take what we are given and make it work...what other choice is there.

Focus on the good things.


Meditate, meditate, meditate.


Love and Light

Monday, November 16, 2009


I have found myself wondering why am I now experiencing things in the way that I am. I have found it easier to see the reasons behind things, even difficult things. I have found myself more easily slipping into a meditative state, I have felt deeper connections to people than I have ever felt before. I have felt an overwhelming urge to do what I can to help others and make this world a better place.

I believe that I have always felt this way but it was buried. It seems to have been set free and there is no holding back now. Maybe it is a combination of so many life/karmic lessons being learned in such a short amount of time, or maybe it was simply my time. It could be as simple as I was ready to accept it. Many times in life we find ourselves closed off in a way, and it is not until we are open to acceptance that we could receive it.

I am finally in a place in life that even when bad things happen I can step away and realize that there is something to take away from it, a lesson to be learned. This is not always an easy place to be. There have been many times that I would be accepting of some particular situation that had fallen upon our family but say for instance my husband was not, he would tend to get angry. He could not understand why I was not upset and something about it would make him upset. He is learning to adjust and I hope that he is becoming more accepting as well.

It seems that this is a time of great transformation for many of us, possibly for all if we are willing and open. How could you go wrong with trying to see the positive in things? What harm could it do? There are many lessons to be learned in our lives and our time on this planet, if they are not learned then they will repeat. If we want to find true happiness then we must be willing to examine our lives and see everything as an opportunity for growth.

We are all capable of healing ourselves as well as healing others, we just have to be open and willing to accept others. Once we allow our selves to be open to receive the universe will guide us to what we need to heal and to begin to heal others as well.

I will close with a phrase that I have found myself drawn to lately...
Love and Light

Sunday, November 15, 2009


The most important thing we can do while occupy space on this planet is LOVE. We must share this love with everyone even when it seems difficult, especially when it seems difficult. When life seems to be throwing stones at you, take time to do something loving for someone else. It will not only take your mind off of the difficulties you are facing but it will raise your vibration.

We all have difficulties to overcome and at times they can seem overwhelming, that is the precise moment that we can take control of our own lives. When it seems that things cannot get any worse take time and focus positive energy on someone else. Even the smallest of things can mean a great deal to another. Never feel as if you cannot make a difference, you are the only one who can make a difference. We are all individuals but we are all connected as one. When one of us makes the choiceto do something positive it sends out a vibration that is felt by all others and for that brief moment all is well. The more of us who make this choice the more moment of peace we can all experience.

Take time each day to let those close to you know that you care and that you are there for them. When they are struggling, let them know that you are there with them in their struggles, and you will tale on the responsibility of doing something no matter how small to help increase the positive energy and vibration all around so that they may feel peace.

Let us all take a moment to feel the warmth and beauty of the Light that is everywhere and embrace it...

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Before you continue reading I want to let you know that this may not be the most positive of posts. I am normally a very positive person, but everything is beginning to take its toll. I will try not to get to depressing.

All day I have just felt alone. I am not sure why, I know I have many people there for me, but today it just did not seem that way. My husband is ALWAYS at work. He is working two jobs and still not making the same amount of money that he was before. I am not one to care to much about money but we must have enough to live off of, and at times I am not sure that there is enough.

I love my children, but sometimes I would really like to have some time to myself. I have absolutely no time for myself, and with the hubs working all the time I sometimes feel like a single mom. It would probably not be so bad if there were not so much going on all at once.

As I am writing this I am realizing that I would not want to read it so I am going to switch gears.

My brain is not functioning the way it used to, it is as if it is on overload. I am having great difficulty focusing and dealing with everyday things.

There are moments of peace, almost daily. I cherish those moments. My youngest will just do something that is so sweet that it almost brings a tear to my eye, or her sister can read me a short story and is so proud of herself, those are the things that get me through my day. My oldest son, he seems like an adult already, I feel so proud.

I am glad that I started writing this because it led me in a good direction, it helped me to remember the good things that I have.

It is all about where to put your focus, it is a choice. Anyone could see their life as sad, in much the same way anyone can see their life as great. It is a simple matter of choice.

I choose great.

I have 3 wonderful children.

I have a gret husband who is willing to work as much as he has to in order to provide for his family.

I have the greatest friends in the whole world, I know that they are there for me even though I do not always take advantage of their offer.

There are so many things to be thankful for, take time each day to remember.

Love to all...

Friday, November 13, 2009


Many ups and downs around here.

Mom still in hospital not doing as well as the docs would like.

Little one is quite stressed...she is so sensitive to others emotions and feelings...this whole thing with my mom is taking its toll on her.


Electric almost shut off today...just made payment before lights out...whew

I am once again not doing so well at keeping in touch with people as I should...

Which is probably why I am feeling so blah...or at least it is not helping matters...

Tomorrow is a new day...

It will be a good one!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dreams and Spirits

About a month ago I had a dream of an Indian (Native American) woman. This was so much more than a dream I felt as if I was in another place and that I was awake. She was a bit shorter than I am, she had long dark hair, beautiful big brown eyes and such a peaceful look about her. I will never forget her peacefulness. She told me that she was here to help me through my hardships and that she knew that life was a bit dificult now but trust that it would get better.

When I woke the next morning I knew who the woman was, she was a relative of mine, several generations back. I have always been told growing up that I reminded my other family members of this woman, I was told stories of her, but I never knew what she looked like. I have no doubt that it was her, and since that night I have felt her presence, she is with me.

As I was driving to the hospital for my mother's surgery I felt as if I had her with me, and it brought a sense of calm. I needed that sense of calm because for the earlier part of the day I had been feeling very uneasy, then out of nowhere...calm.

I had always wished as I was growing up that I would have been able to meet this wonderful woman that I had heard a few stories about, that I reminded everyone of, and now many years later I have.

We all have others there to help us, we just have to be willing to accept them. There are some that are here on this earth and some that are not, but they are here for us. Once we allow ourselves to receive them they will guide us along the right path.

Love and Light to All

Life Struggles

I have been neglecting writing here. I am not sure why, I have been busy but I do not think that is the reason. I think it is because I have been dealing with life issues and avoiding some others. If I take the time to write about them then they must be dealt with, and even though that is what should be done it is not always what I want.

My mom is having yet another surgery. She has breast and bone cancer, and it is pretty bad. They are replacing a hip (she had the other replaced a while back after it had already broken) they are hoping to replace this one to prevent another break. She has had several preventative surgeries. My dad seems very concerned about this one for some reason, I also seem to be a little more on edge about it.

We have been battling cancer for about two years now and it is exhausting on everyone. My dad also had lung cancer, which thankfully they removed and he has been doing good. He also is battling skin cancer. On top of that he is taking care of my mother, I help when I can but I know that it is not nearly enough.

Today feels very surreal, I am not sure why that is. Our finances are getting worse by the day, I think the girls can sense that things are not good. We try to keep things the same as they always were, but it is hard. Sometimes things slip, my dear youngest is so sensitive to the feelings of others, it is impossible to get anything past her.

I normally do not stress over financial matters as it is useless, but last night I seemed very upset. We are both doing everything that we can but it is so hard, we do not spend near enough time together and then there are so many other stress inducing things happening.

I know we are not given more than we can handle, but at times it seems to come into question.

Sorry for the rant, although I must say there will probably be more in the future. I really wanted to get things off of my chest before I go to the hospital, I do not want to bring any bad energy with me.

Monday, November 2, 2009


Here lately I have felt a sort of disconnect, and I did not know why. This morning I went to a muffins with mom event for my oldest daughter and of course I took the little sis as well as two lovelies that I am babysitting, and something clicked.

I have not been spending as much time with the women in my life. I know there are many timed that life gets crazy and it seems like there is never enough time to get everything accomplished, but it is important to make time for yourself. About a week ago I was feeling great, and now I attribute that to me making time to at least have a conversation with some other female in my life.

The bonds that women share together are vital for one's sanity (at least for my own). There was a period in my life when I had some serious problems with other women, due to an incident that I was sure would scar me for life. During that time I was quite depressed but I simply did not trust anyone that was female and told myself that I could live without much female presence in my life. Then I met a great friend and she helped me begin to see that just because you were hurt once it does not mean that you should lose hope. That one friend led to more and soon I was really feeling happy again.

Fate stepped in and long distance moves were made, and we sort of lost touch. Once again I began to feel down. Not long ago I came in contact with some of my dearest friends from my past and I could feel that things were turning around. This just so happened to be a time in my life that it seemed that everything else around me was crumbling. Despite all of this I could see the light. I have never been one to have a lot of close friends, usually just a few but those few are like sisters to me.

One friend in particular seemed to show up with perfect timing and has become a very important person in my life, we truly are sisters. This past week things have been so busy that I did not make the time to keep in touch so well, as a result I have felt as if something was missing, I have felt disconnected.

As I am running around this morning it occurred to me that maybe what I really need in life is this closeness that can only be filled by my closest and dearest female friends, my sisters.

It seems that our culture has lost the value of close female bonds. Our lives are so busy and over scheduled that we just do not feel as tough we have the time. We must make the time even if it is only a phone conversation, although a nice talk in person is much better, any conversation could prove helpful.

Life is short and the only other people who can truly understand are the other women in our lives. We should make an attempt to rekindle the idea of 'the red tent' sort of thinking. We should hold our relationships with our closest friends, our sisters, on a throne. They should be cherished. We should never waste our time judging others, there is something to be learned from every situation and every relationship.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


This post will probably be quite random. I am using this as a venting space so I understand if you do not want to read any further.

People really amaze me, today it seemed that everyone I encountered was in an incredibly selfish mood. At first I thought that maybe a few people were just having one of those days, but as the day went on it seemed it was everyone even some people that I thought I knew rather well. I do not want to go into details as that would not be fair to the people I am referring to, nor would it be productive, I just felt the need to get it off my chest.

All of this negativity surrounding me is once again taking its toll, it is really bringing me down. I hope that I will be able to meditate and get rid of all of these negative thoughts.

I hope to learn from my experiences of the day and I am sure I will after reflection, but right now I am still feeling frustration.

Sorry for the rant and rave, but sometimes it is necessary.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Wonderful Weekend

I had a wonderful weekend. I did have to work, but it was not bad. On Saturday we celebrated my mother-in-law's birthday with a wonderful family dinner, one of our birthday traditions. Then on Sunday a dear friend came over with her wonderful children. It was great to see the kids playing together. They had never met before this weekend, but they really hit it off. I see lifelong friendships in their future.

I also had a wonderful time, it is great (and rare in my experience) when you connect with someone. I am sure you know the feeling when you have a friend that you don't even have to say much you just understand each other. It is almost as if you can communicate without words, even through long distances. A rare friendship indeed, I dare say sisterhood.

I had a rough week last week, but as I woke up on Sunday morning I knew that it was the beginning of things getting back on track. So far so good. This week my dear husband will be home a little more so he will be able to spend more time with us, which of course I am excited about, as it is long overdue.

I am definitely feeling that there is a change in the air, and things are going to be good!

This has got to be a fabulous week , it is Halloween week, my absolute favorite holiday!!!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"The Zoo"

"The Zoo"
Cydney B.
Age 2

This is a painting that one of my daughter's painted when she was 2 years old. We had taken a trip to the zoo the day before and the next day I decided to let her paint. Her father is a painter so we had a canvas and some acrylic paints, I put some paint on a plate gave her a few brushes and sat back and watched. This was the result.

That was three and a half years ago and she is still painting, she says she is an artist.

Today has been very stressful. I am not sure why, nothing has really happened, I have just had a very uneasy feeling all day. I happened to look up at this painting and remembered the day that we decided to start her on her artistic journey and it brought on a sense of calm.

There have been many more paintings that she has done, I may post them later. My youngest has also started showing interest so we may see those as well.

At the time she painted this everyone around thought I was crazy to let a 2 year old paint with "real" paint, but she loved it. Still to this day she loves it, I never force her to do it, nor do I help *I do not have to much talent in this field*, but when she wants to paint I let her. The result, we have paintings all over our house between the children and my husband *all very talented* we never have to buy art.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Azure put on a puppet show for us.

Two of the characters, the cat and the skunk.

And here is the puppet master herself!

Azure has always loved puppets, someone gave her one as a gift when she was a baby, and it was love at first sight. She has always had a very vivid imagination, which she loves to express with her puppets.

These were pics I took earlier in the week, as I was downloading them to the computer I paused and found myself looking at these for quite some time.
Things have been quite tough for our family for quite sometime, not something I really think about very often. As I sat there staring at these pictures I could not help but be thankful. I am thankful that I do have such a wonderful family. Each day I watch my children at play and it is almost as if I can see them growing up right in front of my eyes. They are turning into amazing human beings, I always knew they would be. Through all of life's ups and downs I can always look at them and know why we do the things that we do, even when it seems like it would be easier to just give up, I just look at these beautiful faces and I know that they are the reason I am here.
I must admit that it would be great if things were better financially, but we can only work with what we have now, no need to stress about it, Stress does not make any situation better, only worse. I just breathe.

When my husband is stressed because he feels that he is not doing enough, when he thinks he should be doing more in order to fill his obligation as the "provider", I just breathe, and remind him to do the same.

When my children are feeling frustrated at something that is going on, I just breathe, and remind them to do the same.

There is always something to be thankful for, it is usually right in front of you.

Just breathe, the hard times will pass. Focus on the positive.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I received these yesterday!!! I am so excited, great new things to come. I am not even sure what they will all be yet.

Taking Care of Babies

She says that her babies are sick. I say oh no, you better take good care of them, and give them lots of love.

She had all of her babies all tucked in and covered up, had plenty of tissues for their little noses, she will make a good mommy one day!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Witchy Fun

The girls had just finished watching a movie about witches and decided that they wanted to fly around the house on a broom. This kept them entertained for quite a while.

And they even got along while they were witches!

I could not have been happier!

They are sooooo excited for Halloween! As am I, I must admit. Most of the things they play are centered around Halloween, witches, ghosts, and that sort of thing.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Book Club Mamas

I just finished reading my book for the Book Club Mamas group, and have sent in my short review. I am not going to go into to many details now in case some people who are also reading it are not finished.

I have my book for next month on the way, *excited*. In the mean time I may have to find something around here to read *sad face*.

For those of you reading this book, enjoy and I look forward to discussing it with you in the beginning of November.

For those who have not read it but may be interested for next month check out
http://chewingaleaf.blogspot.com/, for further info.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Connections and the Universe

I posted before about the various connections we have in our lives and how they come and go, well I have been thinking more on this topic so I thought I would say more.

The recent connections and re-connections that I have made are proving to be of great significance to me. After meeting with a friend a week ago I feel energized, I know this connection is going to lead to amazing things. Since starting writing this I have also met people whom I would have never met before. When I started writing this I felt that I had to write it, I put it off for a while and then finally one day I sat down at the computer and before I knew it I was already finished with the first post. The Universe is pushing me somewhere, I don't know where yet, but I will enjoy the ride.

On the flip side there can also be connections that are made that you have to be very careful about, so far I have not had this feeling about any of mine, but I have had strong feelings that someone close to me is entering into something that might not be in her best interest. I am sure that there is a lesson to be learned, I just hope that it is learned before any damage is done.

On a slightly different note, I have found that I have had an uncontrollable urge to meditate more often than usual, and when you have three kids and a hubs to take care of that is not always easy. There is also a yearning to get out in nature, to camp or hike anything that keeps me out there. This too is difficult with the family, but I think that I am going to have to find a way.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

All Snug in the Bed

Before A goes to bed she must make sure all of her animals are tucked in and asleep. Last night she put some of them to bed in mommy and daddy's bed she said, I went in to check and this is what I found. I found myself thinking what a wonderful child she is and is becoming, I could just see her taking her time to make sure they were all tucked in and she would not leave the room until they were asleep. I hope that this is a reflection of our parenting her and that she knows she is loved and she wants to show others that love.


This is the first finished sock, then I ran out of yarn, more is on the way. I knew I was going to run out, I was using some left over from another project, as this was my first attempt at a toe-up sock. Overall it is not too bad, not perfect, but nothing ever is that is what makes handmade wonderful.

This is also made out of leftover yarn. It will be a pair of legwarmers for one of the girls when it is complete.

One Proud Mama!

Creativity, even when it is raining outside she can always find something to do!

The finished masterpiece.

My kids have always loved using their imaginations. If you give them a choice of things to play with most of the time they will choose the one that seems like nothing over the actual toy. They seem to have the best time when they have to use their brains and be creative. Boxes, cups, sticks, leaves it really makes no difference it is just a matter of whatever strikes their fancy on that particular day.

It makes me unbelievably proud to have children like this, children who appreciate the little things.

I am one proud mama!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Reflections From The Weekend

What a weekend!
It was full of the usual things of course, but there were also many other things.
My life lately has been chaotic, I have been fine with that but, the other members of my family have not been dealing as well. About a month ago my husband lost his job and now in an attempt to make ends meet is now working 2 part-time jobs, still less money but I think that it is enough. I really do not give much thought to money, but I suppose that to some extent we do need it. My dear hubs however is having quite the hard time dealing with all of this, although I do not think that it has much to do with the current situation, I think that there are many underlying things that he needs to deal with and let go of, then he will be able to be able to move on and be happy.

My darling middle child, who has just started kindergarten, is having a difficult time right now. I am trying to get to the bottom of all of the issues but she tends to put up a wall and can be hard to break through, she has been that way since birth. Deep down I know I wanted to homeschool/unschool, but it just does not seem like the right time. Where we live tends to have a very focused thought when it comes to religion and spirituality and part of that thought is that if you do not believe exactly what "everyone" else does then you are wrong and will "burn in hell". Well, my poor child had her first dealings with this, only in kindergarten mind you and it is a public school (separation of church and state...ha). She is such a sensitive child so it has affected her deeply. We are a spiritual family I am not sure what label we would fit under because I am not a big believer in labels, but she should not have to feel bad about our beliefs. She is out of school for the next couple of days so I hope I can come up with a way to give her some peace with the situation.

I also met with a dear friend who I have not seen in years, who has recently moved back here. It was wonderful to begin to catch up with her. She is also an astrologer so we decided to do some looking into the charts of the members of my family to see if there was anything that may help. It was very enlightening, of course most of it I knew already, but I did get some insight into how to deal with some of the difficulties that have been happening.

I know things are on there way to getting better, even if the rest of my family cannot see it yet, I can see it and things are going to be wonderful we just all have to finish learning this life lesson that is being presented to us.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Rainy Days!

The best part of rain is when it slows you get to play in the puddles. Sometimes unfortunate things happen that make it not quite as much fun.


I have been giving a lot of thought lately on my kids and what is right for them. I will admit it there are times when I really feel on edge, there are times when I know I screw up with them, it probably happens more often than I would like to admit, but then I always think about it later. I always try to figure out what I could do better next time. I have never thought spanking was really the answer, it just does not make any sense. I have found myself giving a little pop on the hand from time to time, but to be honest I always feel bad for it, I tell myself that it is not a big deal, but then I think *how would I feel if every time I did something that someone else did not like they popped my hand* I would not like it at all. If you try and think about it that way, then it really never makes sense to even give a little pop. I do not know any adults who please everyone all of the time, so why do we expect our children to be capable of that.

I have tried time-out, not really a big fan. It sounds great at first, there is nothing physical so it should be alright. In my experience with my children it was simply a waste of time, they had no idea why they were there and they would usually repeat the behavior later. It seemed like a never ending cycle. My kids also have amazing imaginations so they would just sit there and play with nothing, so if you believe what time-out says that it is all about that would seem to be self-defeating. In essence, time-outs do not work from me, and for some very sensitive children this could really hurt emotionally.

I have also tried various reward based systems, they sound great at first however, they may have led to the biggest disasters. For one thing they were getting the impression that they deserved something material, there inevitably came a time when verbal praise was not good enough. I also began to feel that they were beginning to look for approval from everyone else, they were not thinking about what was important to them as individuals, definitely not the message I want my children to learn.

The most important thing to your child, or any child is LOVE, unconditional love. This the most basic fundamental need for all humans. All actions should stem from LOVE, and ONLY LOVE.

I am not going to tell you that I have it all figured out, because believe me I definitely do not, but I think we should go back to something we all learned when we were young *Treat others the way you want to be treated* some call this the golden rule. Before you do any action, stop and think to yourself *how would I feel if this were done to me*, answer honestly and then proceed accordingly. This way of thinking applies to all aspects of life, not just to children, although they may need more of our attention than others. Remember we are shaping future generations. When it comes to your own children, when you are feeling frustrated take a minute and remind yourself why you had your beautiful little munchkins in the first place.

These are thoughts that I have been having here lately, things have been difficult but this is what I am trying to focus on, regardless of what else goes on in the world I know that I can make a difference to at least a few future world changers, and in turn they will do the same.

For helpful info visit http://www.naturalchild.org

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Beautiful Gifts

My dear baby girl has a fairy who watches over her and protects her, her name is Woosa. She is small and her clothes are purple and green, she ha a wand, and she almost glows. This is the description that my 4 year old gave me. She says that she has always been there for her, there is nothing anyone is going to say to convince her that this is untrue. I love it, C her older sister tried to tell her that there was no such thing as fairies, all A could say was, well I have one. Of course this drove C crazy, then one day C asked me why she did not have a fairy, all I could think of to tell her was that it was because she did not believe.

A has always had a wonderful gift for observation. She is very intuitive, which I remember being just like that from a very young age. I do not want her to ever lose this, I want her to embrace it.

I think C has similar gifts, but somehow even though she is only 5 she thinks it is wrong and I have no idea where she got that from. I am trying to teach her basic meditation techniques to help her relax, she is so tense. She is only 5 years old but she seems to have the weight of the world on her shoulders, I wish there was more I could do for her. She started school this year, and it seems to be making her worse, and this is only kindergarten.

My son, J, who is now 15, also is incredibly intuitive, always has been. He has an amazing memory, he remembers things that I do not even remember happening, sometimes I wonder if it is something from a long ago past, there is no way anyone will ever convince him that it never happened. Even though he does not have to many people around him that are very supportive of anything metaphysical deep down he believes that there has got to be more. I know that he is truly destined for great things.

I think my one of my purposes here on this earth is to try and help my lovelies develop to their fullest, no matter how difficult it may be at times.


I have been thinking a lot lately about the connections that we have on this planet and what they may mean in our lives. I believe that everything happens for a reason, both the good and the bad, there is always something to be learned. Over the past several months I have becoming reconnected with various people from my past, and with some of them I have felt an immediate connection, like there was some reason that they were coming back into my life at that particular time. I have also met knew people that I have similar feelings about, so I have really been exploring these ideas. I am meeting with one of these such people this weekend, so we shall see if I can get some of this figured out. This particular person is the one with whom I feel the most strongly connected with, I am so excited.

I feel that there are about to be new doors open for me to move forward with life. For some time now I felt stuck and I could not explain why, now I feel free from whatever was holding me back.
Lookout world!!!

I have been very thankful for things lately, I have been trying to really focus on the positive. I have been trying to listen to myself and go with whatever my intuition tells me to and so far it has been great. I am also trying to keep a journal and right down any thought no matter how crazy they may seem at the time, many times they make much more sense later.

Even though things have been hard here lately, I feel very at peace, I still have so much and I am so thankful for it, I have more than I deserve and I really want to give back as much as I can.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

W.I.P Wednesday

This is the first toe up sock I have made. Once I got the hang of it it was pretty simple, I really like this pattern from Yes Suna Knits, it is simple but looks great.

Also my book came in for the book club, now I just have to make sure and get it read by the end of the month. I finished 2 others that I had been working on, so the timing could not have been better.
Book Club Mamas
I am going to get started on "The Tenderness of Wolves" by Stef Penney as soon as I get my lovelies settled for the night, I can't wait.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I have been labeled!

I have often tried to figure out what my parenting style was, never really had much luck at this, I just knew that it obviously must be different because much of the family did not understand, or thought I was "weird". Then today I had a few minutes so I was browsing some blogs and it hit me, I saw this post and said OMG that is me, and I am not alone.
Holistic Mama: Mindful Mama, Authentic Self
I will embrace this label to its full extent. Thank you ever so much Holistic Mama, thank you!


Today is just one of those days when I just do not want to do anything. I am very tired, but as a mom of busy kids doing nothing is not an option. It is a gray and dreary day outside, which does not help with my tiredness. I wish it was as simple as it was for my dear baby girl, this was a couple of days ago, she looks so sweet, this picture makes me smile.

I have been reading a lot lately and working on various knitting projects which I think is what has contributed to my sense of calm even though it seems there are storms all around me. I am using my creativity to channel some of my frustrations as well as reading for added help with relaxation and then I am also writing which has always been a huge help. Although I think I really need a break from everything, which will probably be quite difficult considering our situation, but I am becoming so overwhelmed. I know this sounds like a contradiction to what I just said about having such a sense of calm, but it is odd, I do seem to have both of these feelings at the same time, it is all difficult to process.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Ms. B's Halloween giveaway

I am so excited about the giveaways over at Ms B's, Must check out 31 days of Halloween.
Great Halloween giveaways, like the one from Charming Enchantments.


It was a crazy busy weekend. I had a lot of fun celebrating with my friends for Angela's birthday. I did not get near as much stuff done around the house as I needed to, but hopefully I will accomplish something today.

I have been reading lots of posts from others about homeschooling, this is something that I have thought about many times over the years. I have done pre-school at home with all of my kids, but then it has been off to school. For the most part it has been an OK experience, although I do have to admit the public school system does not do much in the way of working on the individual, but I guess they can't when they have so many kids. My youngest child, who will be starting school next year is the one I am the most concerned with. She is very bright but also gets bored easy, I am concerned that in a classroom full of a sorts of kids she may get bored as she waits on everybody else, then she may begin to entertain herself, and this in turn may be looked at as disruptive behavior. I understand this but I also want her to be comfortable with who she is and not feel any pressure to conform. His leads to my dilemma, however I do have the rest of the year to ponder.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Crazy BUsy Day

Today is going to be insane. Now I am running dishwasher, about to go and hang clothes out on the line, I just finished making lots of lists of things that need to be done while I am gone for the day, and I just used Google Maps to find directions to somewhere I need to go later. Whew!!!!

Next I have to get ready to go to work, them when I am done with that so much running around to do.

Well DH had another interview yesterday, it was actually kind of an interview for 2 different jobs, but anyway, it seems that everybody wants to hire him, but they all only want part-time. Of course they all say that he is a great candidate for management but they just do not have anything open at this time. So it seems that he will be working multiple part- time jobs until something opens up. Which that is fine with me, I am just glad he has something to do. The couple of days that he was at home he looked like a lost puppy. He has got to stay busy at all times, he is not very good at relaxing.

So today/tonight after I get off work I get to go celebrate my BFF's birthday. It should be a blast, she has been kind of down lately, so I hope that all of us girls can snap her out of it.

My son (15) has been doing MMA stuff for a little while and really seems to enjoy it. I really hate violence and fighting, but he loves it and is good at it, and they teach them not to use it on the streets, it is only for use within the ring. He firmly believes this so I guess it is OK. All of his life he has never asked for much so he should be allowed to do something he enjoys.

My dear middle child (5) got to go to a book fair at school yesterday and brought home more books for us to read at night. She brought home a "chapter" book about fairies that we started reading last night. There I was reading a story to all 3 lovely children, yes even my 15 year old son, I guess there are some things that you never grow out of. My baby girl (4) says she has a fairy of her own who protects her, her name is Woosa. So, needless to say she was very into a story about a girl who gets her own fairy.

Well, i have got to continue on my mad rush to start this day. Hope it is full of great things.

Friday, October 2, 2009


I am loving this weather. No need for AC, windows open, kids can play outside, perfect. Even when life is hard, I just feel better when there is nice weather. I am new to the blogging world, I have been reading many of them for a while now but I finally decided to create my own. I just want to be able to get my thoughts out there.
This is mostly for myself but if I can help someone else well that is just bonus points.
Life has been crazy these past few weeks, but for some reason I feel completely at peace.