Wednesday, December 2, 2009


It has been so long since I wrote anything. My mom just had surgery not to long ago and no sooner does she get home that she falls again and breaks her arm. I have spent the past two days at the hospital. She had surgery this morning.

The past two days at the hospital she looked so sad. There were many tears shed, and event though this is the fourth surgery of this kind she said that this one was the worst. This was such an awful thing to have to watch. The doctor said that the cancer is literally eating her bones, they are simply crumbling. Since having two surgeries back to back she has missed much of her chemo, which means that the cancer is growing even faster now.

I am normally a very strong person, and I am not looking for pity, but I feel as though I am falling apart. Three different family members in hospitals, family battles over assisted living, financial woes, etc. I am finding it difficult to remember to breathe let alone try to deal with all of this.

I have always listened to my intuition, but I really do not want to hear what it is telling me now.

I am trying to focus on acceptance, but that is so much easier said than done.

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