Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Here we are again....

The universe is definitely trying to tell me something. I am once again a SAHM and it was not really by choice. I have spent the past week or so going through a series of emotions, from sad to pissed off to down right angry. I am beginning to have some moments of clarity now. I began to realize today that there have been elements of myself that I have once again forgotten in the craziness that is life. Instead of focusing on the negative and feeling sorry for myself and wondering what happens now I am going to focus on myself and my family and make the best of the situation and hopefully find myself having moments where I am wondering *with excitement* what happens now, what is out there waiting for me. I know I have great things to offer and to share with this universe and all of it's inhabitants. I hope the universe has some great and wonderful things to share with me as well.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I have done it again!

I know I said before that I was going to start writing again on a more consistent basis…

Apparently that did not happen.

I am going to give this another shot. Life has definitely been happening! I have been working full time for a while again while still trying to manage everything else. With all that has been going on in my life lately I have felt my true self slowly slipping away. I honestly did not know what to do…I am always the one that others turn to for help and advice. I guess in a way I turned to myself for answers.

I found myself ridiculously stressed out and decided to take the time and ask myself…why? Then I did what I do: I made a list. I made a list of the things about myself that I have let slip. I would not allow myself to have more than 10 things on the list (I was trying to help my stress not add to it). I have since taken time each day to reflect on that list. I thought I was doing a horrible job, but then yesterday I decided to make yet another list of the things that are on my list that I have made progress in. To my surprise I am doing quite well.

I learned that we have to take the time to NOTICE what is going on around us, take the time to NOTICE what might be going on in the lives of others, and quite possibly the most important take the time to NOTICE what is going on within ourselves.

The answer was staring me in the face the whole time; what I had forgotten (or let get away from me) was looking inward. Many times we get so wrapped up with taking care of others that it begins to feel like we do not even exist anymore.

Breathe, take in this moment and this moment alone, and then let it go and move on..........

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Back to Life

I am trying to get back into the swing of things. It has been difficult since my mother passed away. I find that things that happen everyday and that have always happened everyday seem to bother me these days. I do not recall that they bothered me before, but I am trying to deal with things and breathe my way through the difficult moments.

I have been keeping myself very busy, that seems to be the way that I deal with difficult situations. I am sure with the holidays coming up I will have plenty to keep my mind occupied. It is official the Christmas Eve family celebration will be held at our house this year, so that will require a lot of preparation.

I just have to remind myself to take life one moment at a time.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


As you may have noticed I took an extra long hiatus from writing. I was going and am still going through some issues in life and needed a break. I now feel the need to get back to writing as I hope that my experiences may shed light for others.

About a week and a half ago my mom passed away. As some of you know she had been battling breast cancer for 3 years now. When she was first diagnosed she was given 6 months to a year to live. She was a fighter, stronger than I ever gave her credit for, stronger than I think that I am.

Many friends and family keep asking if I am doing ok...

In the way that they mean as far as dealing with the death of my mother, I am at peace with her passing. She has completed another transition in her life, a transformation. As far as my dad I am not so sure that he is dealing with it as well, so I worry about him. What truly amazed me was how wonderful people can be during these sorts of times. There were so many people that were there for me and my family, some of which I would have expected but many that were not expected. For that I am truly grateful.

I am doing ok. I am just experiencing what the universe needs me to experience, and trying to learn from it as much as I can. There is a purpose to everything. I have learned that your family does not only consist of blood relatives, but often there are others that may not be related by blood but that are your true family.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Sometimes in life we are put in very unpleasant situations. Sometimes these are in dealing with members of our own families, as with everything in life there are lessons to be learned.

It seems that when we are faced with extreme negativity the universe is forcing us to look at some aspect of ourselves that needs immediate attention. It is as if the universe is screaming at us.

People say hurtful things to one another, try to avoid the temptation to snap back when this happens. Remember that anger is a very powerful emotion with very powerful energy associated with it, try to use it in a more positive way.

Look at your own life and how you are living it, if you know that it is for good, then does it really matter what others say about you. Live your life with service to others as your focus, and try not to worry to much about those who do not understand why you make the decisions that you make.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


I have been having many ups and downs lately. Life has really been a roller coaster ride. I am human, therefore I do experience a variety of emotions. I have noticed that now I can return to peace much faster than I used to. I may have my weak moments but I do realize that it is happening and after allowing myself to have the feelings and then let them pass I can return to a place of stillness.

People keep talking about strength, and the strength it takes to go through these things that I am going through.  I do not see it as strength, because what choice do I have but to figure out some way to deal with it. Don't we all have things to deal with? Regardless of what it may be at the time we are experiencing it we have no choice but to experience it. The choice that we do have is how to experience it. We can choose to experience it with self pity or we can choose to experience it as an opportunity for expansion and growth. Sometimes we have a little of both, after all we are human, and this is a learning experience. That is the way I have chosen to look at the experiences that I have had today. Today I had moments of both. It seems that most days I choose expansion and growth but today I needed to experience both sides of what it means to be human.

As I was having my experience today I really connected with an old friend and through much conversation I remembered why I am here in this universe. Our conversation started with me talking about the goings on of my day but the more we talked and the more I let go I began talking more about her strengths as well as the strengths of others, pointing out the positive. As I did this all of my frustration began to melt away.

We are surrounded by good, sometimes it is hard to see but it is there. Everything is a choice, at least there is a choice in how we choose to perceive things. Life is hard, but it is also wonderful. We must find balance. This sounds simple but, it is so hard. No one can be a wonderful positive person all of the time, if they seem that way then it seems to me that they are fearful of showing the truth. I am most comforted when I see those that I think are so strong and so spiritual also have a human side. That is when I know that I am not alone on this journey, yes I am a strong person, I am usually the one holding others together but sometimes I need others as well, we all need others. This is a very important lesson to learn, for me it was a hard one.

Allow yourself to be open to all experiences the good and the bad. Allow yourself to have moments of strength as well as moments of weakness. You must allow yourself to have both in order to achieve balance.

Take time to tell others how you feel, life is too short to not be real.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Love and Compassion

Take a moment and reflect on your life.

Focus on the highs as well as the lows.

Focus on the people that have come into your life, think about what was going on in your life when they arrived.

If they are no longer present in your life, was there any issue that was resolved while they were a part of it, a weight that may have felt to have been lifted by the time they had moved on.

Everyone that we come in contact with is an opportunity for expansion. This applies to those that have a positive effect as well as those whose impact may not seem so positive. Many times the greatest growth takes place during moments of struggle.

Now focus on any major events that come to mind.

How did they impact your life?

Much like the people that come and go in our life events mold and shape us as well. The events that were joyous and the events that brought us to tears, they are there for us to grow from.

Our own thoughts may be the most powerful of them all. The way we perceive the world around us is very powerful. Our thoughts impact our lives as well as the lives of those around us. Even if we do not act upon those thoughts, once it is in our mind we have put that energy out there. Once the thought is there we cannot take it back.

Approach life knowing that you have a powerful impact on everyone and everything around you. Try and act out of love and compassion. However, we are human and we will make mistakes, we will have thoughts that may not be full of love and compassion, and that is fine. These times are opportunities to learn and expand as well.

Reflect on it, learn from it, and continue on with love and compassion.