Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Life Struggles

I have been neglecting writing here. I am not sure why, I have been busy but I do not think that is the reason. I think it is because I have been dealing with life issues and avoiding some others. If I take the time to write about them then they must be dealt with, and even though that is what should be done it is not always what I want.

My mom is having yet another surgery. She has breast and bone cancer, and it is pretty bad. They are replacing a hip (she had the other replaced a while back after it had already broken) they are hoping to replace this one to prevent another break. She has had several preventative surgeries. My dad seems very concerned about this one for some reason, I also seem to be a little more on edge about it.

We have been battling cancer for about two years now and it is exhausting on everyone. My dad also had lung cancer, which thankfully they removed and he has been doing good. He also is battling skin cancer. On top of that he is taking care of my mother, I help when I can but I know that it is not nearly enough.

Today feels very surreal, I am not sure why that is. Our finances are getting worse by the day, I think the girls can sense that things are not good. We try to keep things the same as they always were, but it is hard. Sometimes things slip, my dear youngest is so sensitive to the feelings of others, it is impossible to get anything past her.

I normally do not stress over financial matters as it is useless, but last night I seemed very upset. We are both doing everything that we can but it is so hard, we do not spend near enough time together and then there are so many other stress inducing things happening.

I know we are not given more than we can handle, but at times it seems to come into question.

Sorry for the rant, although I must say there will probably be more in the future. I really wanted to get things off of my chest before I go to the hospital, I do not want to bring any bad energy with me.


  1. Hang in there is all I can say. Sub the hospital stuff for other stuff and you could have just written about my life. I know it's tough, sometimes it helps knowing others are dealing with the same sorts of things. {{{Hugs}}}

  2. Thank you. I know there are many out there going through similar situations some even worse. It is noce to have others for support and to send love and light.

  3. Financial woes can be draining, we're there as well. I'm the optimist around ehre, and even I've found myself down about it. Just dragging on so long.

    As a sensitive child I had a hard time with the family issues that weren't discussed. Have you talked to your kids? Obviously we wouldn't burden them, but often we confuse burdening them with simply letting them in, including them, aleviating their concerns.
    Often, it's listening that's required anyway - what do you think is going on? how's it making you feel?

    Hugs - a relative ill is tough, a parent tougher, and cancer, phew. Many hugs. Good to hear about some peace in your more recent post.

  4. Thanks for your thoughts. Yes we have talked to the kids, I know it is still tough on them. I am a firm believer in not hiding too much from the children because they know what is going on even when you do not realize it. My youngest is very sensitive to the feelings of others, physical as well as emotional, so we have to spend extra time and care with her. I was much the same way as a child, if nourished in the proper way it can be a wonderful gift.